Progress so far

Thanks Mary, for reminding me that I hadn't posted in a while!

Ediets is going okay. I did lose some weight at one point, down to 207.6 (I always seem to be .6) but I am pretty sure that I have gained that back already. The program is really simple and I know it works but I just haven't committed to it the way I should have; this is something my mother reminds me of daily. I am willing to get back into it only because I really want to lose weight!

The thing is, I really want to lose weight by using Perfect Weight America. I love the Nourishing Traditions cookbook, and I have seen a friend of mine lose weight by incorporating those things into her diet. At first I thought that I could sort of combine the two, just taking the best from each. That is NOT going to work. Ediets is all about a low-fat diet. NT and PWA are about healthy fats, the kind of fats that eDiets wants you to avoid like the plague! I know that eDiets will help me to lose weight, but it does feel short-sighted because I know that I would prefer to live a NT lifestyle.

On the other hand, NT does require a certain amount of specialty, organic food. It does require me to be a lot more selective with where I shop and what I purchase. Ediets allows a lot of the "modern" foods, including breakfast cereal (something NT is against) and microwave instant meals (I don't think Sally Fallon would approve!). They do have some common ground, smoothie and increased vegetable consumption. I think some of the things in NT would be fine to use, like the drinks for example and the starch recipes. I think what I need to do is commit, either way, always being able to have an excuse because it isn't the way it is done in PWA/NT isn't good enough. I am on eDiets. I want to succeed. I want to get pregnant. Have I mentioned that this is one of my major motivators? I would dearly love to expand my family, because I do believe that kids are a blessing from the Lord and telling Him that I don't want any blessings right now is just plain selfish (and stupid, I might add)

So, back to eDiets I go. I must commit to it, low-fat lifestyle and all. What's the worst that could happen? Death? To die is gain, right? I find it hard to believe that eating less fat will kill me, and I am bound to lose weight, it's scientifically proven. What might happen is that I might be less healthy than if I followed a NT diet. However, I won't be less healthy after six months on eDiets than I am right now, so all things considered, what do I have to lose? 65 pounds?

I'm just repeating myself!!! And giving myself excuses...

Change in Plans...Again

After a tear filled conversation with my mother, she volunteered to pay for a month's membership with eDiets for me and my sister, Karee. On top of that, she offered to pay for the "convenience" and "diet-specific" items that we would need. This is the only diet I have ever had success with in the past, and though I LOVE Perfect Weight America, Body by God, Maker's Diet, and Nourishing Traditions...I need to lose the weight, fast! If I commit to this program, it will work, but as long as I try to straddle the two programs, I will not succeed at either one. So, I am committing to eDiets, for one month. After that month, I hope to finish out six months. I should be very close to my goal weight by then and ready to try pregnancy (which is a big goal of mine) again (we aren't trying right now...) and I can begin to incorporate Nourishing Traditions and Perfect Weight America methods to my diet.

Both diets agree on the "increase vegetables and fruits" method, but the major difference is in the comsumption of carbs and fats. Ediets will allow carbs, as long as they are whole grain but stringently limit the fats that you take in. Perfect Weight America goes the exact opposite way: completely limited carbs and fats are okay. I get so frustrated with this mess. What is the truth? They stand diametrically opposed to one another and I feel like the standard diet is not the way to go. However, it is the common way to go and it has worked for a lot of people, including myself. At the very least, it deserves a fair fight and my total commitment. Losing weight the "bad" way is still losing weight. In six months or so, I can always go to PWA if I want, right?

Anyway, I have not been committed enough over the last two days and I know that. I have been trying, but not hard enough. I need to see junk food as the enemy, trying to steal away my life and happiness. We rant and rave at the government when they do tiny things to interfere, why do I give in to food so readily? My husband made a pan of brownies the night I started my diet and though I know he did it "to get them out of the house" they still stayed in the pan, where I consumed them. Instead of blaming my lack of willpower on myself, I blamed my husband. Not a good strategy. When am I going to assume the blame for my years of bad eating habits? 

I am frustrated and not completely okay with this diet strategy but I am willing to give it another shot, even reluctantly. Tomorrow I plan on beginning to keep a food journal where I will post it for your inspection, nightly.

Ediets does a good job of finding "real" foods for you to eat and develops a community to be a part of while losing weight. When it comes right down to it, I've been particular and picky about food all my life. The food on eDiets is not going to kill me as fast as the food I'm currently eating, and that is probably the bottom line. Making a change right now, is essential. I want to run a triathlon. I think that would be cool. I want to be there for my kids. I want to have my sparkle and energy back. I want to feel good about the choices I make on a daily basis. 

New Background?

So, how do you like the new background???

Book I'm Reading...

It has been a long time since I have posted anything, but my diet is going poorly still and that is frustrating. Added to that are a number of serious stresses in my life right now and you've got a recipe for a "ate a whole cake in one day...alone" situation.

I am reading another book called The No-Grain Diet by Dr. Mercola. So far, I am having a hard time reading it, but I think it is interesting. He offers a three day start-up and I think I will give that a shot, using it like a fast. Otherwise, I still like the Nourishing Traditions/Perfect Weight America/Maker's Diet style of doing things.

Quite frankly, I want to go to fat camp; where everything is already set up for me, workouts are already designed and all I have to do is show up and do the work. If I could go for three months I think I would come back a completely different person. I almost want to apply to Biggest Loser!!!

My Menus...Finally!!!

Despite wanting to go whole-hog into this new dieting thing, I'm not. I am, however, following pretty closely to Perfect Weight America, with one (major) exception: I am not going organic! Don't get me wrong, I'd love to. When we move to Colorado in the next few months, I will be able to do my shopping at a Whole Foods market; the closest thing I have to that right now is a Trader Joe's that is about 45 minutes away. The produce section is tiny and that is a major reason I would even venture in, so I am not taking the time. I am looking for real food now, instead of the processed junk. Instead of buying chicken stock, I am making some, right now!

My meal plan consists of several "basics" that I can just pick and choose from at will. Dinners will be more extravagant but I don't have the budget for much of that. I am building a repertoire of simple, easy to cook, healthful recipes suitable for dinners and appealing to children! The major dinner change is replacing the ever-present starch (usually potatoes) with a smaller amount of rice (keeps longer/cheaper) for the kids and my husband and the addition of a large salad with some new dressing selections. I am not a particular fan of most dressings, so I am searching for something new. (I admit it- I love RANCH!!!)

Breakfasts:

Egg dish- two eggs cooked in coconut oil or butter served with sauteed peppers and onions or homemade salsa (store bought for now, but I will get the ingredients on Friday for the good stuff), piece of fruit (if I am still hungry...I won't be!)

Fruit smoothie- frozen fruit, whole milk yogurt (that I am also going to begin making for myself, it's very easy- here's a link. She also tells you how to make cream cheese and whey from the yogurt, check out her recipes on the left sidebar.) goat's milk protein powder, some coconut oil and honey. Blend.

Starchy breakfast- Oatmeal or Cream of Wheat with a tbsp of real maple syrup mixed in, piece of fruit. I am making a soaked, whole wheat sourdough bread, also courtesy of the website above, but that takes a week to get the sourdough starter started. This bread is actually very good for you, I will spread with the cream cheese mixed with a little honey and cinnamon. This is something I only want to eat less than once a week.

Dairy breakfast- Cut up fruit mixed into some yogurt or cottage cheese. I don't care for this idea so much, but it is part of the Perfect Weight America regime, so I'll try it- the kids will like it!

For the kids- They can choose to have what I'm having or they may have cold cereal (I know it's not good for them!)

AM Snack, if needed: Fresh fruit or one of the "PWA" items listed in the book (Perfect Meal Shake or FucoBars), I didn't care for them when I tried them before, though the shakes smell fantastic! I am willing to give them a try again. The goal is to reprogram my taste buds anyway!

Lunchs:

A large salad mixed with whatever fresh veggies are on hand, and a protein, either two hard-boiled eggs, a can of fish or a chicken breast.

A nourishing soup. One I want to try is Coconut Chicken Soup. I've tried it before, but did it wrong...it was still edible, but I am looking forward to trying it again.

Kids will either eat with me or eat a sandwich with fruit and veggie "dipping sticks" - I make a dip out of the cream cheese, good brain food for kids!

PM Snack: veggie sticks or a "PWA" item (Perfect Meal shake or the FucoBars)

Dinners:

Though I already mentioned what I plan on doing, I want to pull from Dr. Rubin's own words on the subject:

From Perfect Weight America, pg. 86:

"Build family dinners around:

*Healthy salads (romaine lettuce, radicchio, escarole, and endive) with tomatoes, celery, red onions, peppers, and avocados
*Healthy grains like amaranth, millet, buckwheat, and quinoa
*Healthy vegetables like spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, sweet potatoes, and white potatoes.
*Grass-fed meat, free-range chicken, and wild-caught fish, all served as a vital ingredient, not necessarily the main course."

I know this isn't really an adequate plan, but it a loose guide to follow. I am hoping that I can stick to this (more or less) until the New Year, where I will begin with The Perfect Cleanse, ala Perfect Weight America and then move into a closer following of this diet plan. I will be using Nourishing Traditions as my primary cookbook, but I will also be using the recipes from the PWA website.

Also of note is my water consumption: Per the recommendations in PWA, I will be drinking about 50% of my body weight, in ounces, per day. That comes out to about 110 ounces, or about 9- 12 oz. cups. Let's see: wake up, breakfast, AM snack, lunch, PM snack, dinner, after dinner, before bed? That's only 8, and I don't like the idea of drinking so much before bed. I will probably increase the amounts earlier in the day, especially when I first wake up. In the end, I just want to be well-hydrated, so if I'm feeling well, I will probably drink less than 110 ounces of water.

The final note is that I will also be taking three supplements. The first is a Garden of Life brand (Jordan Rubin's company) Woman's multi-vitamin. It is whole food based and really good for you. The next is a dose of FucoThin, also a JR item and finally, some Cod Liver oil in the evenings, I take the capsules.

So there you have it!!! It all seems to be good, but we will see how many days I stick with it versus how many days I "splurge."

Gym!

I finally got to the gym last night and I think I will go again! I worked hard and was exceedingly proud of myself for going in the first place, since I didn't go until 9:40pm! I know that morning workouts are better for you because you end up burning more calories through the course of the day, instead of sleeping like I did, but working out at all will vastly improve my condition and ability to burn calories in general, so nights are good for now. I am also considering working out in the early morning before Eric goes to work but I am NOT a morning person and the thought of working out at 5:00 in the morning makes me laugh that I am even considering it!

The other reason that I am proud of myself is that when I got home from the gym, I ate a huge salad with lots of veggies and tuna on the side for protein. I sprinkled on a bit of cheese and ranch dressing. I know that's not that good for you, but I don't use that much (really) and its better than not eating the salad. Fat is not the enemy, excessive sugar is.

I have been shaky all morning today though and I don't know why. It's weird; it is the way I feel when I've had too much caffeine and not enough food, but I've had no caffeine and I just finished a large bowl of yummy chili. Who knows...I hope to work out again tonight, but I think Eric might be home too late. I am glad to be starting this routine because it is one of the harder ones to keep up.

I'm off for a little rest while the kiddos nap.

Weekend Food Log/Change of Plans

Well over this weekend, I finished off the pizza (ugh!) ate some boneless buffalo chicken wings on a special date with my husband (I had french fries too), the last bowl of ice cream and surely NOTHING healthy.

I am a little frustrated because I know that my eating has been just plain awful so far, and yet we just do not have the money for me to do this diet! Meat is expensive, organic is expensive, fruit is expensive...and if you don't use it fast enough, it goes bad!!! My husband and I have lately been debating the "good vs cheap" debate and for my husband, cheap is the primary factor. I know that I can't live that way for long but I don't really feel like I have a choice in the matter. I still want to try to start Perfect Weight America but before I do, I am going to make out a complete two week menu (from the samples in the book) and then I can budget out exactly what it will cost me. Plain and simple is that I am on the verge of all sorts of dietary problems: I am on the verge of having high blood pressure (I am thinking of going to Wal-Mart to use their machine!), I am confident, though not tested, for high-cholesterol and I will probably have Type 2 diabetes within a year or two if something doesn't change. The bottom line is that it is too expensive to eat junk!

The first two weeks of Perfect Weight America are pretty restrictive, especially on carbs, so perhaps I can wing it with our regular food minus the carbs. I might have to add a few ingredients to our shopping list, but they are probably few. The first month of PWA is a "detox" stage anyway, though not a cleanse, it is a method for resetting your system to begin to accept new things. I'll post my weekly menus once I have them established. I like to go grocery shopping with my husband (preferably without the kids) because it helps me hold to my budget better therefore, I plan grocery shopping for the end of the week. That is also the end of the week-long food diary, which is really making me feel piggish, I must say! The other problem that I am going to have is finding a good source for organic produce. I think that I will grab that list (from this site) of the 12 best foods to buy organic, but the list recommends practically every kind of food, so I might just use the list about the foods that don't need to be organic, here. These lists conflict a little, so we just might need to start to consider other ways to save money. Regardless, I know that organic is better, but just the foods are good for now. I will work on a cleanse once I get the hang of the actual diet that will hopefully get rid of the pesticides. I have also read that foods treated with chemicals are less healthy for you in nutritional value, but anything beats pizza!

In other news, I found out that I still have a gym membership, so I can start going there. I know full well that losing weight long-term is a two-fold change: diet and exercise. 30 minutes of medium to intense aerobics plus some weight training should work well. Everyone has a different theory on exercise, whether its lots of aerobics, lots of anaerobic exercise or a combination, they always agree that you should JUST DO IT!!! I am hoping to make it to the gym 5 days a week, another thing that I am going to write out in my plan. I think I will make a little booklet for my first two weeks, just looking at what I need for each day.

By the way, you can get more information on Perfect Weight America, here, but I also recommend reading one of Jordan Rubin's other books, The Maker's Diet because it goes into more depth on his health journey as well as some of the Biblical reasons behind his diet. The diets are pretty close, but I think that PWA is a little easier, more modern, so it is the one that I will be following. I also have a book on children's health by him because that is especially important to me right now. I will also be using Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon for recipes. You can find that book in the cookbook section of your local bookseller and it has a lot of really good information in it about traditional diets and the myth of "bad fats" along with a ton of recipes to cook everything imaginable!

Well, I'm off to do my planning!

Today's Food Log

I started my day with

1 small Jolly Rancher to dull the taste in my mouth (why didn't I brush my teeth?)

A double portion of Cream of Wheat (made with water), and 4 heaping tsps of brown sugar (it was too much sugar)

As a snack, I had a large bowl of lite ice cream, about 3 1/2 scoops.

I had a large bowl of homemade chili for lunch, it was made with less meat than the recipe calls for and more beans. I think it is pretty healthy (it uses ground beef though)

We were feeling pretty hungry for dinner, and we ended up ordering pizza.

I ate 2 slices of a medium pan pizza with pepperoni, 2 glasses of Mountain Dew, and 3 Chocolate Dunkers...not the high point, but it needs to be documented anyway.

I had planned on drinking coffee and even brewed it, but never drank it...that is good. I had a monster migraine by the afternoon and took 2 OTC Migraine pills, they have aspirin, tylenol and caffeine in them, so they are a veritable health hazard concoction. My goal for tomorrow is to drink more water, any water will be better than today!

My Current Stats

I measured myself today and I weigh 214 pounds, with clothes on, mid-day.

I wear a 2x top, and 20-22 on the bottom, depending on the fit.

My bra size is a 44DD.

My neck is 15 1/2 inches.

My bicep is 15 inches.

My waist measured at the belly button is 45 inches.

My hips measure 50 inches.

My thigh measures 27 inches.

My calf measures 15 1/2 inches.

Beginning tomorrow, I will be keeping and posting a food diary for one week, after which I will begin a lifestyle diet. Something must change. My tooth aches incessantly and we are out of dental insurance at the moment; I am sure that I need at least a root canal, possibly a crown. My scalp is dry and itchy, though my hair remains oily. These, I am sure, are only a small portion of the things wrong with me. It must change.

Some Pictures

This is a somewhat unflattering picture of me and the kids just last weekend. I now weigh in between 210-215 pounds, which means that if I combined my two children and subtracted their weight from my body, I would still be technically overweight.

This is a picture of me when I found out that I was pregnant with my son, Noah. I was a heavy 180 by then and felt it, but being pregnant and having a small baby just gave me too many reasons to eat junk and justify it. 

Here is a picture of me before having kids. This was not the lightest I had ever been, but it was a good idea of my "standard" ... It is hard to believe that I felt FAT constantly!

What is FISH?

FISH stands for Finally, I'm Seeking Health. I have been curvy all my life. The problem is that where I used to have pretty feminine curves, I now have lumps. Where my shape used to be a nice hourglass, it has now turned to a stopwatch...you know, round with a couple of bumps, but ticking off the minutes of my life. Something has to change, and I'm pretty sure that the medical community is not going to find out how to make ice cream healthy or sugar good for you, so it means that my diet is going to have to change.

Of course, changing a diet is not as easy as it sounds. I have read a bunch of good books by Jordan Rubin like The Maker's Diet and Perfect Weight America as well as Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon and then Body by God by Ben Lerner. Many of those diets are similar and I like them, but they all go (pretty much) in the face of the Standard American Diet- even the ones recommended by professionals. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do, so stay posted and I'm update...

Either way, what I would like to do for this website is to post pictures of progress, body measurements and my food log (or samples from it...) and just watch what works and what doesn't.